If you’re reading this at 9pm with a screaming, inconsolable baby in your arms, I want you to hear this first: it is not your fault, and you are not doing anything wrong. I remember those long evenings so clearly — my son would cry and cry no matter what I tried, and I felt like I was failing him. I wasn’t, and neither are you. Colic is exhausting and frightening, but it is common, it is harmless to your baby, and it does pass.
💙 The one thing to hold on to
Colic is not caused by anything you did. It usually starts around 2–3 weeks, peaks at about 6 weeks, and almost always fades by 3–4 months. Your baby is healthy — this is a phase, not a problem with your parenting. Your job is simply to comfort your baby as best you can, and to look after yourself too.
What is colic, really?
Colic is the name doctors give to long bouts of crying in an otherwise healthy, well-fed baby. The usual rule of thumb is the “rule of threes”: crying for more than 3 hours a day, more than 3 days a week, for at least 3 weeks. It often flares up in the late afternoon and evening — the so-called “witching hour” — which is exactly when we parents are most tired ourselves.
A colicky cry can sound different from a normal cry: more intense, higher-pitched, harder to soothe, sometimes with a red face, clenched fists, a tense tummy or legs pulled up. It can look like your baby is in pain, which is heartbreaking to watch.
Why does it happen?
Honestly, no one knows for certain, and that can be the most frustrating part. The most likely explanations are a still-developing digestive system, trapped wind, a temporary sensitivity to something in milk, or simply a baby who gets overwhelmed by a big new world and struggles to settle. What we do know is that it isn’t caused by too much cuddling, and it doesn’t mean your baby is unwell or that you’re spoiling them.
Gentle ways to soothe a colicky baby
No single trick works for every baby (or even for the same baby every night). Think of this as a menu — try a few, and lean on whatever helps. Many parents find the “5 S’s” a good place to start.
- Swaddle. A snug wrap (arms in, hips loose) can make a young baby feel secure and held.
- Side or tummy hold. Holding your baby along your forearm on their tummy or side (never for sleep — always back to sleep) can ease a windy tummy.
- Shush / white noise. A steady “shhh”, a fan, or a white-noise app mimics the constant whoosh of the womb.
- Swing / sway. Gentle rocking, a slow walk, or babywearing in a sling keeps them close and moving.
- Suck. Offer the breast, a clean finger, or a dummy — sucking is deeply calming for babies.
- Tummy massage & bicycle legs. Lay your baby on their back, gently massage the tummy clockwise, and cycle their legs to help move trapped wind.
- A warm bath and dim, calm surroundings. Turn down the lights and noise in the evening — less stimulation can help an overwhelmed baby wind down.
- Wind them well. Burp your baby during and after every feed to release swallowed air.
Feeding tweaks worth trying
Feed calmly and unhurried, keep your baby fairly upright, and burp often. If you’re bottle-feeding, an anti-colic bottle and a slower-flow teat can reduce how much air your baby swallows. If you breastfeed, letting your baby finish one side fully before switching helps them get the richer hindmilk. Some breastfeeding mums try cutting out cow’s milk or caffeine for a couple of weeks to see if it makes a difference — the evidence is mixed, so do this as a gentle trial and mention it to your doctor. Never switch formula or start an elimination diet without checking with your paediatrician first.
What about gripe water and probiotics?
Many Indian families reach for gripe water, and some parents feel it helps. The honest truth is that there’s little strong evidence it treats colic, so think of it as optional comfort rather than a cure — and always pick an alcohol- and sugar-free version and check with your doctor first. There’s some research that a specific probiotic (Lactobacillus reuteri) may help breastfed colicky babies, but again, ask your paediatrician before starting anything. You can read my honest take in my guide on whether gripe water is safe for babies.
⚠️ When it’s NOT colic — see a doctor
Colic happens in a healthy baby who is feeding and growing well. Please get your baby checked the same day if the crying comes with any of these — they point to something other than colic:
- A fever, or your baby seems floppy, drowsy or unusually hard to wake.
- Vomiting (especially green or forceful), or blood in the stool or vomit.
- Poor feeding, fewer wet nappies, or not gaining weight.
- A cry that sounds weak, or breathing that looks fast or laboured.
- The crying suddenly starts after 4 months, or just feels “wrong” to you as a parent.
Trust your instinct — you know your baby. It’s always okay to get them checked for peace of mind.
Please look after yourself too
This part matters as much as any remedy. Endless crying can push any parent to the edge. If you feel overwhelmed, it is completely okay to lay your baby down safely in their cot, step into another room for a few minutes, and breathe. Take turns with your partner or a family member. Never, ever shake a baby — if you feel that you might lose control, put your baby down somewhere safe and call someone for help. Reaching out is strength, not weakness.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does colic last?
For most babies colic starts at around 2–3 weeks of age, peaks near 6 weeks, and settles by 3–4 months. It can feel endless while you’re in it, but it truly is a passing phase.
What is the best position to relieve colic?
Holding your baby upright against your chest, or along your forearm on their tummy (the “colic hold”), often helps release wind — as does burping during and after feeds. Just remember to always place your baby on their back for sleep.
Does colic mean my baby has a tummy problem?
Usually not. Colic happens in healthy, thriving babies and doesn’t cause any lasting harm. But if the crying comes with fever, vomiting, blood in the stool or poor weight gain, that’s not colic — see your doctor.
Can what I eat while breastfeeding cause colic?
Sometimes a baby is sensitive to cow’s milk or caffeine in a breastfeeding mother’s diet. You can try cutting these out for a couple of weeks as a trial, but the evidence is mixed — check with your doctor rather than restricting your diet heavily.
Does gripe water cure colic?
There’s little solid evidence that gripe water treats colic. Some parents feel it soothes their baby, but treat it as optional — choose an alcohol- and sugar-free product and ask your doctor before giving it, especially to a very young baby.
A gentle last word
Colic is one of the hardest early tests of parenthood, but it ends — one evening you’ll realise the crying has quietly stopped for good. Until then, hold your baby, try your comfort tricks, share the load, and be as kind to yourself as you are to your little one.
For more on soothing a fussy baby, you might like my guides on gripe water for babies, loose motion in kids, and constipation in children.
This article is general information from one parent to another and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult your paediatrician about your baby’s specific symptoms.
